Monday, December 17, 2012
I'm typing this out before I have a title prepared....I'll think of one when I'm done (if at all).
On Friday....all of our days, across America, started out pretty much the same, especially the ones with kids. I got mine ready for school, fixed her pancakes, made sure she had everything for school and we walked out the door. It's our normal routine. When we got to school, I dropped her off in the line and watched her walk in with her new "rolling backpack", meet a friend at the door who's parent had just dropped them off, hugged the gym teacher as they walked in. So innocent....so routine. We send our kids to school knowing that they will be taught, knowing that they will have fun, knowing that they will be safe.
By the time I got to work, the news had broken. By lunch time, the numbers were in. 20 little kids (all my daughters age) were killed. My heart sank. I didn't know what to feel. I didn't know how to feel. I streamed the coverage on my computer and just stared blankly at the screen. I sent Annie a few texts, I shot off some IM's to coworkers, I sent some texts out to friends.....but didn't leave my chair much.
When I got home on Friday afternoon.....I hugged J....a lot. To the point of "DAAAADDDDYYY.....STOP". I didn't mind. I could hear her voice....the parents of the kids in CT will never hear those again. I thought about the routineness of my day and what I did and what those parents did....probably the same damn thing.
On Sunday I did a 9 mile run. I thought A LOT about what happened. About my family, about the other families. My heart still hurts......
We talked with our daughter and gave her a high level overview of what happened. We didn't want her to hear anything from other kids at school. We told her to not discuss it with any students and if a kid starts talking about it, to walk away or tell them that they shouldn't talk about it. We didn't want her to hear false information or to make a bigger deal out of it.